


Keeping Secrets

by acme146



Series: Fading Scars [17]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood Trauma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Lily's Birthday, Secrets, Voldemort's Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 11:04:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11690313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acme146/pseuds/acme146
Summary: It's Lily Luna's eighth birthday, and she's gotten everything on her list! There's one item that's causing her mother some worry, though...





	Keeping Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”   
> ― Kahlil Gibran

            Of course it was Andromeda who did it.

            As much as the woman had become family, become another surrogate mother for Harry, she still didn’t know all the details of their history. Andromeda hadn’t known, for example, that Angelina had been a Chaser, or that Ron had once belched slugs thanks to a wand misfire. She remembered once she was told, of course, but there were certain stories that were taken to be common knowledge.

            And then there were some stories that weren’t talked about because it was better they stay in the past.

            Lily’s eighth birthday was already a difficult day. James was still at Hogwarts, and Lily missed her big brother dreadfully. Albus was ill and cranky, and Mad-Eye had chewed up the ribbons Ginny had been saving. Harry had taken the day off, and he managed to get all the food ready, but it was a near thing to catastrophe when the guests arrived.

            Andromeda came with Teddy, and she brought her own gift for her god-grand-daughter. Ginny was trying to catch the _stupid_ ferret, and missed when Lily opened it. Harry didn’t, and the moment he saw, he gently took the book from Lily and drew Andromeda into the kitchen.

            “I need to talk to Ginny about that,” he explained in a low voice.

            “What’s the matter? Lily asked for one.”

            By the time Ginny had finally coaxed the ferret back into his cage and come back down to the party, Harry had outlined the broad strokes of the story. The shaken older woman offered to take the gift back.

            “I’ll check with my wife,” Harry whispered. “I understand, Andromeda. It’s alright.”

            But Andromeda didn’t look a puzzled Ginny in the eye for the rest of the evening.

            When all the guests had left, Harry shooed Lily upstairs with Albus. “Go play with your new twirler,” he told her. “Mummy and I need to clean up.”

            “What’s wrong?” Ginny asked. “Did you and Andromeda have a quarrel?”

            Harry didn’t answer. He pulled her over to the pile of presents, stacked neatly. There were some storybooks, a few items from the jokeshop, a new knight costume, and a…

            Ginny took a deep breath. “Harry, is that meant to be—”

            “Andromeda bought it for her. Apparently Lily asked Fleur and Angelina, but they got her other things.”

            Ginny picked up the pale blue notebook, hands shaking. There was nothing written on it, and when she flipped through it, there were dozens of blank, lined pages.

            “Harry, this is a diary.”

            Harry wrapped his arms around her. “I know, sweetheart.”

            Ginny closed her eyes, hands going slack as she remembered. The persuasive words, the comforting idea of having a _friend_ , the creeping horror as she realized what her ‘friend’ was forcing her to do…

            Gasping for breath in a cold chamber, fighting to stay awake, to stay _her_.

            “Ginny? I’m right here, it’s not real.”

            “What was she thinking?” The words were too harsh, too angry.

            “Andromeda didn’t know,” Harry said. “The details have never really gotten out, you know that. All she knew was that you’d been possessed. She didn’t even know it was a Horcrux.”

            Ginny nodded. She knew the woman didn’t know. Knew that her precious eight year old didn’t know either. Lily hadn’t started to ask the same questions her brothers did. She was content with their simplified explanations and the promise that they would answer questions when she had them.  

            At least she appeared to be.

            “I need to talk to her.”

            “Are you sure, love?”

            “Harry, I wanted a diary because I felt like I had no one to talk to. I will not let my daughter feel that way.” Ginny picked up the book again. “I’ll be fine.”

            “If you’re not, just call me.” Harry kissed her. “I’ll put Albus to bed.”

            “Make sure you check the cage before you start to read. That damn ferret should’ve been named Houdini.”

            Harry smiled, and Ginny tried to smile back.

            When she got upstairs, Lily was alone in her room, leaping off her bed. The twirler Bill had given her sparkled in the air, lighting up as Lily waved it above her head.

            “It’s time for bed, darling,” Ginny said, catching her daughter.

            Lily giggled. “Can’t I stay up a bit, Mummy?”

            “You need your sleep, little one.” Ginny gently disentangled the twirler and waved her wand, settling Lily into pyjamas. Lily snuggled into her covers, and Ginny took her hands.

            “Did you have a good birthday?”

            “Yes. I wish Jamie was here, but he sent a lovely card. And Al’s feeling better now too! And everyone got me excellent presents. I got everything I asked for!”

            “Yes.” Ginny swallowed and pulled the diary from her robe pocket.

            Lily’s face lit up. “My diary! Yes, God-Gran brought it, isn’t it lovely?”

            “Lily…” Ginny struggled. How could she tell her why it wasn’t lovely at all without explaining so much more?”  

            Lily frowned. “What’s wrong, Mummy?”

            Ginny took her hands. “Mummy needs to tell you a story, Lily. When I was a little girl, I found a diary, and when I wrote in it someone wrote back.”

            Lily’s eyes widened. “That’s cool!”

            “That’s what I thought. But it really…it really wasn’t. It was Voldemort, Lily. He was the first person who owned the diary, and he was trying to trick me into hurting people.”

            Lily shrank back. “Did it work?”

            “Not as well as he wanted to. I didn’t quite realize what was happening right away. He was possessing me, and I didn’t remember what I did then. Eventually he tried to…well, he used me as bait as a trap for your Daddy.”

            Lily was trembling. “Was Daddy okay?”

            “Daddy got…Daddy got hurt. But he was okay, and he’s fine now, Lily, and so am I.” Well, mostly fine. “He destroyed the diary, and that was part of what eventually destroyed Voldemort. But ever since then I’ve been a bit nervous about diaries.”

            Lily swallowed. “I don’t want to have it. I don’t want to make you scared, Mummy.”

            “I’m not scared of the diary, sweetheart.” Ginny stroked Lily’s curls away from her face. “I’m a bit scared though that you think that you can’t come to Daddy and me about secrets. That’s why I wrote in mine in the first place. I wanted someone to talk to, and no one really wanted to.”

            “Not even Daddy?” Lily said indignantly.

            “Daddy and I weren’t really friends then.” She still blushed to think of the silly little girl she’d been. Ah well, that girl had gotten her greatest wish. “But Lily…is that how you feel? Are you lonely?”

            To Ginny’s relief, Lily shook her head hard. “No, Mummy. I promise. I can write to Jamie or Teddy even if it’s a secret from you.”

            “What kind of secret would that be?”

            “What I’m getting you for your birthday. Or Christmas.” Lily traced her mother’s fingers. “Or sometimes when I’ve been naughty and I’m trying to fix it. But I like talking to you and Daddy. Promise.”

            Ginny hugged her. “I’m very glad. And I want you to remember always, _always_ , that Daddy and I are there to talk to you no matter when or what time. You don’t have to be alone with your worries or questions, okay? If you want to keep some thoughts to yourself, that’s okay, but don’t ever think it would be bad to share them, alright?”

            “I promise, Mummy. I just wanted a diary so I could keep track of what pranks I’ve already pulled and what books I’ve read, is that okay?”

            Ginny laughed. “That’s perfectly okay.” She gave Lily the journal and summoned one of her best pens. “Here you go.” She kissed her forehead. “I love you lots, Lily.”

            “Love you lots too, Mummy.”

            Lily kept her word. She didn’t always come to Ginny; sometimes she went to Harry, or her brothers. But her diary was full of pranks and books, and later on Quidditch scores, and that was all.

            And one night when Lily was twelve, Ginny woke in the middle of the night to find her daughter standing over her trembling, having darted through the Floo in the Hufflepuff Common Room.

            “Mum?” she whispered. “I think I—I think I like a girl named Leila.”

            And Ginny sat up and listened to her daughter pour out her secret heart, not in ink but in trembling voice and sobs. She didn’t wake Harry; Lily hadn’t, and she could tell her father in her own time.

            For now, it was their secret, and Ginny was honoured to have it.

**Author's Note:**

> I do not know what the proper name for a 'twirler' is. You know, a ribbon on a stick that you twirl? What else do you call it?   
> Cheers,   
> Acme


End file.
